Tag: Feminism

  • Conversations with doctors that shouldn’t have happened #Periodically 4

    Conversations with doctors that shouldn’t have happened #Periodically 4

    I have been very lucky with the doctor who’s been helping me sort my uterus out in Swansea, and it’s a little daunting that whatever happens now I’m going to have to figure it all out without Dr H now I’m back in Essex. Regardless, there are a couple of conversations that have happened with both Dr H, my GP, and Dr M, my gynaecologist, that I’m not sure are entirely fair. Disclaimer: I will be paraphrasing for comedic effect here, unless you want my full um-ing and ah-ing while I tried not to rage cry at them…

    A lot of the reasons I feel the conversations are inappropriate is because I don’t think they would have happened at all if I was a man. If I was a man enduring horrible pain during sex, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be told to ‘keep trying other positions,’ ‘take ibuprofen before sex’ or pump my body full of hormones that also directly impact my sex drive. The truth is there would likely be a solution, simply because while men were figuring out how to fix their penises, for a long time research into female sexuality was often limited to hysteria, ‘wandering womb’ and childbirth. That said, the uterverse is a lot more complicated that the male reproductive system and so our understanding of it was always going to take a bit longer.

     

    “Yes, but if it didn’t hurt on the pill, then you should go back on”

    I’ve had a troublesome past with the contraceptive pill, both the combined and mini. So when Dr M asked ‘did sex hurt when you were on the pill’ and I said no, he said, ‘ah well there’s the solution then’. I calmly pointed out that things also weren’t bad before I was on the pill. The plan he was suggesting sounded to me like a mask solution, and that any serious problems I was dealing with would return if I ever came off the pill to, say, reproduce. I would prefer to deal with this situation now, rather than ten years down the road when it’s too late to be a surrogate for my sister because of a defunct uterus.

    “What would you say if all I can offer you is either no libido or painful sex?”

    The mini pill destroyed my sex drive. Physically and psychologically there was no ‘desire’ (read moisture) for sex. So when Dr M put this ultimatum before me I was a bit lost for words. Are these really the only options I have? Not wanting to have sex but possibly being able to, or wanting to have sex but not being able to? Pretty slim pickings if you ask me. It makes one ask, when will female sexual pleasure begin to be as important as male sexual pleasure?

    Me: “I actually ended a relationship because of this” Dr H: “OMG well we’ll expedite your appointment then”

    After several months of waiting for a gynae appointment and with things getting progressively worse, I visited Dr H and explained. She said there was nothing she could do until I’d seen the gynae. She asked how I was doing otherwise and I mentioned how honestly ‘it was making life a bit shit’. I subtly mentioned that I had ended a relationship because of it and suddenly, as if this was a new sign of the severity of my situation, she was able to write a letter and expedite my appointment, as well as book me in for an ultrasound. I received my gynae letter two days later and had a scan within a fortnight. Call me picky, but I kind of wanted my doctors help for me and my body, not for my love life.

  • Subtle signs that my repro health ain’t healthy #Periodically 3

    Subtle signs that my repro health ain’t healthy #Periodically 3

    Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, specifically the app Clue, I have every cycle that I’ve had in the last three and a half years tracked with excessive detail. But hang on, the maths doesn’t quite add up… three years is 42 months… and I’ve only had 18 cycles… right well there’s warning sign number one – irregular periods. Throughout this blog I’ll illustrate a couple of points with information from my Clue which is almost definitely a gross overshare but hey, here we go.

    Remarkably, my quest for treatment began during the last year where I have, for the first time ever, had a natural and regular cycle. But, with my period finally having regulated to a monthly cycle, it made all the symptoms I had been experiencing over a long period of time, condense into a month. Highlighting their severity and increasing their impact.

    Acne is the most obvious, but my sisters and my mother have/had normal cycles and acne long into adulthood. It was only once I became very aware of horrible chin acne during the same point in every cycle that I noticed it was, at least, hormonal acne.

    Painful and heavy periods have gone hand in hand since menarche (my first period). The more pain I’m in then the heavier I tend to be bleeding. This, has over the years, often resulted in at least two days of doubling up tampons with sanitary pads, frequent changes and dozens of destroyed pyjamas and bedsheets… (I’m still waiting for that TMI filter to kick in). This has become easier to manage with a menstrual cup, if only it could cure the pain too – so far, only ibuprofen can do that. One thing that put me off seeking advice was that I was ‘running’ a lot and irregular periods and even amenorrhea (disappearance of periods) can be caused by frequent exercise, especially running. However, when I say ‘run’ I mean a light jog that usually turns into a long walk and I think it is highly unlikely that my shoddy exercise habits had anything to do with anything. Here you can see how my cramps and painkiller use have increased over time.

    Ovulation pain is something I’ve only experienced during the last ten months or so, but while it seems to be somewhere in the vicinity of my ovaries it isn’t as strict time wise. It now is a pain I experience three out of four weeks of my cycle, particularly when I step on my right leg.

    IMG_5556
    An indication that my ovulatory pain must be something more sinister was that I couldn’t be ovulating this often…

    Random cramping, leg pain and fatigue are a few new dramas to deal with three out of four weeks of my cycle, particularly if I run. The leg pain is particularly strange as it is a bit like growing pains but in my upper thighs. Over the last four months in particular, lethargy has begun to accompany pain – though whether I’m tired because I’m in pain or whether the fatigue is coming from somewhere else, I do not know. I am a pretty lethargic person anyway so it’s taken a big move in my energy levels for me to notice.

    Back pain is something I’ve dealt with since I was about eleven and I actually think might have been the earliest sign. I remember my mum taking me to the doctors and chiropractors to try and ease this dull achey pain in my lower back, particularly when standing for a long time, but nothing ever worked. When I started my period four years later, it was weird to find that this pain that had plagued me for so long, was now part of my period pain every ‘month’.

    There are a few other things, some that I’ve discussed in my last blog like pain during sex and constipation before my period and after sex, and some that I’ve only experienced rarely or recently like occasional bleeding during/after sex and spotting. 

    Thanks for sticking with #Periodically thus far. I’m excited, now that I’ve got all the depressing symptoms and nitty gritty details out of the way, I can really delve in and write about what happens now and why more attention needs to be paid to reproductive and sexual health. 

     

  • What’s on my Kindle for a 4 week adventure

    What’s on my Kindle for a 4 week adventure

    I am very excited to be off on a graduation treat trip with one of my sisters. We’re heading to Colombia, Peru and Brazil for a big adventure and I wanted my kindle to be equally adventurous. While it proved more difficult that I expected it to, I’ve tried to get one book to read that is either written by a resident or is set in each city that we are visiting. I only managed to find four cities/books, but I will be sure to blog during or after the trip about my experience of visiting cities ‘by the book’ as well as reviews of the other books I’ll be reading while exploring.

    There will still be posts being published while I’m away, mostly with Periodically blogs so be sure to follow Fictitiously Hilary on WordPress or to keep an eye on my Twitter @Hilarysaysblaah. 

    City By the Book Books:

    While of couple of these books have been mentioned in classes once or twice, I really know nothing about them but I like to think that reading a relevant novel while visiting a city can offer a new aspect to a cultural exchange.  

    Cartagena – Of Love and Other Demons (1994) – Gabriel García Márquez – Chosen because Márquez studied in Cartagena and I’ve read rumours that the city may have inspired the setting of the novel.

    Lima – The Storyteller (1987) – Mario Vargos Llosa – simply chosen for Wikipedia’s inclusion of it in the list ‘novels set in Lima’.

    Manaus Journey to River Sea (2001) – Eva Ibbotson – while a children’s story, it comes highly recommended and I think it will perfectly accompany a couple of days floating down the Amazon river!

    Rio – Don Casmurro (1899) – Machado de Assis – Not only was it published in Rio but de Assis lived and died there, so surely the novel will offer a different view on the city?

    Non-Fiction

    I have mentioned numerous times (sorry) how much I enjoy an actress’ autobiography. So for South America I’m going to be accompanied by the three autobiographies of the late, great Carrie Fisher:
    Wishful Drinking (2008)
    Shockaholic (2011)
    The Princess Diarist (2016)

    Free Kindle Books

    Now if I manage to make it through all that, I have David Copperfield and Sons and Lovers on back up since they are free in the Kindle store (the rest of this list saw the end of my student loan *weep*). I also have my own novel Project 27 on my kindle, I haven’t read it in almost a year and think it might be time for a reread!