Tag: diagnostic laproscopy

  • ‘Wait and see’ – Thoughts before diagnostic laparoscopy #Periodically 9

    ‘Wait and see’ – Thoughts before diagnostic laparoscopy #Periodically 9

    “Just wait and see,” my mum keeps telling me, anytime I speculate about what exactly is going on with my uterus. For a while it’s been a really annoying command. “I need to know now,” my brain disputes. But finally, it’s not long until the waiting is over and the seeing can begin.

    This week I have my long awaited diagnostic laparoscopy. For those who don’t know this is, or should be, simple keyhole surgery to determine if endometriosis is the cause of my pain and other issues. If there are any lesions (sticky bits of endometrium in the wrong place that can potentially bind organs together) they’ll remove what they can and then discuss possible treatments with me. A possible treatment, other than repeated surgery, is likely to be returning on the pill, an idea, you now know, I am not a massive fan of.

    Instead of going off on one of my usual tangents about how unfair it is that female health has been neglected, making common problems like endometriosis seem harsher in a world of medicinal advancement (still got it in there though, didn’t I?), I want to talk about what I worry is the most likely outcome of the surgery.

    “Nope, nothing wrong Ms Webb, off you pop!” The words I fear Dr M is going to say to me after the surgery have started to give me nightmares. I know it is a reality for so many women seeking enlightenment about their reproductive health but I am terrified that I’ll be joining the gang. There’s not a conspiracy here but there is a lack of understanding. When I’ve discussed pain during sex Dr H has been great but other doctors and nurses who I’ve mentioned it to, while also mentioning my lack of desire to return on the pill, say nothing. But in the nothing, I can’t help getting a vibe that says “shut your legs, harlot”. I think it’s highly unlikely, and unfair of me to assume, that they are actually thinking or suggesting this, but once all other options have been exhausted there’s not much left except abstinence from penetrative sex. They know this and so do I. It’s become an elephant in the room. While many people tell you to anticipate descending towards a new chastity at the very end of your life, it’s not something I want to be facing at twenty-two.

    So call me disturbed, but I really hope that after the surgery I hear that, in fact, there is something wrong with me (ideally something that they’ve fixed). At least if I have a condition with a name, I won’t feel like it’s all in my head and I’ll have somewhere to direct my frustration.

    But until then, let’s just wait and see.

  • Why didn’t the gynae look at my vagina? #Periodically 6

    Why didn’t the gynae look at my vagina? #Periodically 6

    There were a couple of requests after I ominously ended Periodically 2 with ‘a story for another day’ in reference to my visit to the gynaecologist. Well folks, today is that day! I have discussed certain aspects of those conversations in Periodically 4, but let’s get right into the nitty gritty, shall we?

    Oh wait, we can’t. Because I waited over three months for a gynaecology appointment for the gynae NOT TO LOOK AT MY VAGINA. I understand that my symptoms are mostly ‘deeper’ than the vagina but come on, what if it’s something obvious? Maybe I don’t have a vagina, or maybe it’s upside down? I don’t know, the only professional that ever looked was Dr H and she said ‘we all come in different shapes and sizes’. As true and profound as that is, it’s not what you really want to hear when a doctor is looking at your vagina for the first time… and let’s remember, that was said moments before ‘I can’t seem to find your cervix’.

    Tangent: I do question why in Europe and the USA gynaecology appointments are so standard for most people with female reproductive systems, and yet in the UK most people don’t see a gynaecologist until they’re pregnant. 

    Want to talk about another disappointment? I had an ultrasound and then didn’t let me see! The liberty! Considering asking to stay awake for the laparoscopy next month, just so I can ask ‘WELL?’

    Simply put, the gynaecologist just confirmed that all my symptoms sound like endometriosis, but that there was high chance that it could be ‘nothing’. Dr M went straight into filling out the consent form for a diagnostic laparoscopy (that he didn’t entirely explain to me, but thank you Google). The plan is that he will poke a couple of holes in me to assess the damage, if there is any he’ll fix what he can but if it’s anything more sinister I’ll be brought back round to discuss possibly treatments.

    It was a very underwhelming appointment after weeks and weeks of anticipation, but all jokes aside, I’m just glad I was seen (progress!) and that it was free. Thank you NHS, you wonderful, wonderful thing. #SaveOurNHS

    It was a waste of a shower though. OK, I’ll stop.