Tag: Sweetening the Pill

  • My experience using Natural Cycles #Periodically 20

    My experience using Natural Cycles #Periodically 20

    “How do you review a contraceptive?” was a question I asked myself when Natural Cycles kindly sent me a six month trial of its certified* contraceptive app. I sure as hell wasn’t going to risk pregnancy for the sake of a blog, even if I had been having any sex in the first place. So the following review does nothing to attest as to whether the Natural Cycles app actually prevents pregnancy, but it does test the accuracy of the app against my own fertility awareness, that of other apps I use, namely Clue, and how it compares to hormonal contraceptives like the pill. I have now (sadly) restarted the pill, but the last five months of my hormone-free journey have been made so much more interesting thanks to Natural Cycles, it was the perfect way to say goodbye to my (literal) natural cycles.

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    It’s nothing like the pill…

    … in that it’s non-hormonal, non-invasive and has no side affects. For those who don’t know, the app works by taking your Basal Body Temperature (BBT), which you measure yourself, to detect the rise in temperature that occurs around and after ovulation to estimate your fertile window. Whereas most contraceptives involve taking precaution 24/7 or with every sexual encounter, by knowing when your fertile, ideally you can gauge the (much longer) period of time when you’re infertile and have lots of barrier and/or pill-free sex during that time. With that in mind, the app gives you ‘green days’ (infertile, go bare-back if you wish!) and ‘red days’ (fertile, wrap it up). Since you don’t have to ingest anything or have anything injected or implanted into you, there are no side-affects, which is very attractive to lots of people with uteruses for obvious reasons.

    Contrary to what a member of my family presumed, you take your temperature by sticking the thermometer in your mouth, NOT your vagina!

    But it’s more like the pill than you would think…

    … because it relies on you doing something at roughly the same time every day. What’s worse, it relies on you doing it first thing in the morning before you’ve done anything else at all, including but no limited to, getting up. If you happen to take the pill as you get out of bed, but one day forget until after you’ve brushed your teeth – it’s no biggy, but if you brush your teeth and only then remember to measure your temperature, then you have immediately compromised the reliability of the app and therefore your contraception. For someone like me – the very opposite of a morning person – this has been a challenge. I usually need an alarm on the other side of the room to get me out of bed, and while I’ve had alerts reminding me to take my temperature before my alarm goes off, it took a while to get consistent with measuring in the morning. In this sense Natural Cycles is a bit like the pill, skip a pill and risk fertility, skip a measurement and risk a green day when it ought to be red.

    Do I have a drinking problem or is there an evolutionary flaw with the app?

    There are a few circumstances when your temperature is considered unreliable. Getting out of bed before you measure being one of them. Basically, anything that messes with your BBT is no longer really your BBT and might wrongly detect ovulation – the app calls this a deviating temperature (naughty). Other triggers for a deviating temperature include having a lay-in (or any disruption to your usual sleeping pattern), being unwell or having a hangover. Now boozy nights have become much less frequent for me since I graduated, so I wasn’t worried about hangovers being a major hindrance to my experience with the app until it became clear that the only bloody time I was hungover was around ovulation.

     

    The first couple of times I thought it was a fluke, but then it started happening every cycle – something about being fertile makes me DRINK. There are several explanations for this, but one that sticks out for me is that one of the behavioural changes that we experience around ovulation is that we go out and socialise – biologically, this is to find a mate, but socially in the twenty-first century, this often involves having an alcoholic beverage or thirteen. This is in no way Natural Cycles’ fault, honestly it could just be a coincidence with my own bad habits, but it disrupted four out of five fertile windows I had while trying the app. For this reason I personally wouldn’t recommend the app as a contraceptive to single people enjoying regular drunk stranger sex.

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    Sure, it’s a fun game to play when you’re not having sex, but a risky one if you are

    Throw an ovulation test in the mix – I dare you

    So once it was decided I was going back on the pill, albeit reluctantly, I wanted to really see what Natural Cycles could do in my final cycle using the app. When you input your temperature it gives you the option to add a positive or negative LH (Luteinising Hormone) test, a positive result means the hormone is surging and you’re about to ovulate. So with this in mind I started a five-test pack on the date recommended by both Natural Cycles and Clue. Five days passed and I only had negative results, as far as Clue was aware I was out of my fertile window and steaming towards PMS. Natural Cycles meanwhile was pulling the old “the ovulation symbol has disappeared for a while until we detect it” which is reassuring. So I bought another pack and continued for another five days… still nothing. This really made me panic, I’m going back on the pill to stop me ovulating – “WHAT IF I DON’T OVULATE AT ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE?” I thought, thinking I’d accidentally discovered my real problem. Another three tests later and I got a positive result on the twenty-third day of my cycle (I have no idea if that is normal and or healthy) BUT ANYWAY, low-and-behold my temperature did what Natural Cycles expected it to do after that and my pain moved in tandem with it – I think it successfully detected my ovulation – wahoo!

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    There were so few green days it almost wasn’t worth the fuss

    Maybe it was because the app was still getting to know me or maybe it was because my ovaries are evidently dysfunctional, but red days have been the majority, making me think that if I were having sex, it would be a whole lot easier (and cheaper given the price one would normally pay for the app) to just use condoms all the time? I wouldn’t have to worry about getting out of bed too quickly, an issue that has never ever been an issue in my life before, nor having a hangover or a cold.

    Uhm… my birth control isn’t a video game & other concerns

    I’m all about making Femtech fun. There’s a pelvic floor exercise device and app that involves moving a butterfly by literally clenching your vagina – I think that’s brilliant (and hilarious), but if I’m trying not to get pregnant, that’s no joke and I don’t treat it as such. So the fact the app has “achievements” for users to unlock, i.e. it’s currently hounding me to become a “Pro Cycler” – I’ve only got three stars so far – isn’t very motivating to me. I get that they’re trying to encourage users to input as much data accurately and as often as possible, but for me it felt a bit like trivialising what is otherwise a very scientific app.

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    In the same vein of thought, I’m a little uncomfortable with how the app is advertised. “Wake up. Measure. Get Up” the slogan goes and upon setting up everything is said in such a positive, sales-pitchy way that the very serious warnings risk passing you by – like the fact if you have a reproductive issue like PCOS for example, it’s likely the app could interpret your data incorrectly – and anything that risks pregnancy is dangerous. There have also been concerns mentioned in the press and also at a number of Femtech events I’ve attended that the figures regarding the success of the app aren’t entirely reliable, you can read the company’s reaction to some of these issues in its press release here.

    One other minor annoyance. Are we not done with blue periods and bizarre, unrealistic representations of women? Let’s just get one thing clear, at no point during my Natural Cycles experience did I wake up and measure looking like those featured on the app’s website. Can you possibly tell which one of these photos is the official Natural Cycles branding??? 

     

    A step in the right direction

    I’ve learnt a lot about my body and Femtech in the last few months using Natural Cycles. The hormone-free aspect of the app is incredibly appealing to me, but the fact remains that it relies on me too much, and I am not nearly reliable enough for it to work for me as a means of birth control. However, the app is, without a doubt, progress.

    What would I like to see from Natural Cycles in the future if I were to use it again?

    • No achievements to unlock or stars to gain, just pregnancies to achieve and avoid!
    • An alert that wakes me up before the actual alarm set on my phone to remind me to take my temperature.
    • A better interface for inputting data – it’s a bit too numerical and off-putting. (The graphics on Clue are much more welcoming, but Natural Cycles’ temperature graphs are waaaay easier to read than Clue’s.)*
    • No BS about the risks. Say it how it is please!

    *Same data as presented on Clue and Natural Cycles. While Clue is not a contraceptive app, I find it really hard to interpret its temperature graph, a problem I didn’t have with Natural Cycles. 

     

  • Farewell Ovulation – Going Back on the Pill #Periodically 19

    Farewell Ovulation – Going Back on the Pill #Periodically 19

    In news that was both disappointing and not at all unsurprising, my new doctor and I recently agreed that I will be going back on the pill. I’ve known for some time that the pill was likely to be the quickest source of relief for my dysmenorrhea (painful periods), menorrhagia (heavy periods), dyspareunia (painful sexual intercourse) and general pelvic pain, but it was an outcome I wanted to avoid given my experience with the pill in the past. For details read A Tale of Two Pills and #Periodically 13.

    The decision, in the end, wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be. The quickest way for me to get some relief at the moment is to stop ovulating, and the combined pill does just that. Getting the prescription was thought-provoking though:

    Having been on Rigevidon (combined) and Cerelle (mini) in the past my main qualm was that I wanted to try a different dosage or brand this time. Now, because of the sad old state of our NHS, my gynaecology appointment was outsourced privately, so when the doc said I could go on Microgynon I nearly fell off my chair. Microgynon is technically the same as Rigevidon, it’s made up of a synthetic oestrogen and a synthetic progesterone that you take 21 days in a row and then you have a withdrawal bleed for a week – standard pill talk. BUT, Microgynon is the pill many my friends and sisters started on, had no problems with but were unexpectedly taken off of. Many of them have been switched to Rigevidon for no apparent reason. Maybe it’s paranoia but I am very suspicious that Rigevidon is simply cheaper than Microgynon.

    The gynae gave me a two month prescription of Microgynon but it was a private prescription. The doctor recommended I take it to my GP and ask them to refill it so I could get it free on the NHS, since it’s contraception. I am doing exactly this when my GP says, “I’m going to put you on something called Rigevidon, it’s basically the same thing” – I was furious. So I said, “no, it’s going to be Microgynon or nothing, that’s the only reason I agreed to go back on the pill. ” I was ready for a fight, but he quickly said, “OK” and printed out a prescription for six months of Microgynon. I was floored that it was so easy to get what I wanted, which only further makes me suspicious that the problem with Microgynon and Rigevidon is a price one – but, I should add, that is pure speculation (but still, #SaveOurNHS).

    So now I have the prescription the real drama starts. Over two and a half years ago I decided to come off the pill for several reasons. They were mostly because I had ended a relationship and wasn’t looking to get giggy with it, I wanted to try and get my sex drive back and to also get my mind back to something I recognised. I got so much more than I bargained for coming off the pill, good and bad. I got a new lease of life and creativity, my boobs dropped two cup sizes (to my delight), the world literally smelt different, I rediscovered my libido and I started having periods again. But equally, my periods were more painful than I remembered them being before, my skin got worse, I started spending money on sanitary products again and I discovered PMS. At that point in time, the pros outweighed the cons. The psychological benefits I felt coming off the pill were huge, and being able to track all these changes on Clue meant I could exploit them.

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    All good things come to an end however, and the last year has offered fresh pre, peri and post menstrual and ovulation symptoms and complications. As I’ve mentioned (a lot, sorry) discovering that sex hurt when it didn’t used to, was a real blow to my relationship with my body (and romantic interests) – what good was it to have my libido back if I couldn’t use it? My periods have left me exhausted and even grumpier than normal because I’ve become anaemic, and I’ve grown at least one hemorrhagic cyst, though there’s a lot of evidence to suggest there have been a few cysts that have been and gone.

    There are a couple of things people have said to me since I found out I would be going back on the pill that I would like to address. I stand by what I’ve said about hormonal birth control in the past – I think it’s shit. There has to be a better way and I am confident there will be soon – I’m talking to you FemTech engineers. Since I am currently the most single and unsexed I have been since adolescence, my reasons for going on the pill at the moment are not for birth control. I still think the pill is a sorry excuse for birth control, one that has brought about both hugely beneficial social changes and immense personal problems. It is a concept that demands lots of criticism. This time, I am going on the pill to deliberately mess with my menstrual cycle in the hope of getting some relief. It might fix my problems, it might just ease my symptoms for a while, it might do nothing, hell, it could even make things worse, but without having more potentially disappointing surgery, it is my only option for now.

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    The other thing I’ve been asked is “do you think you’ll be paranoid about the negatives of the pill this time round, and therefore never give it a fair chance?” I thought so at first, but I am actually feeling really open minded about it. December was a real toughie pain-wise and anything that offers relief is my friend at the moment – it is worth a shot.

    The last two years and seven months have seen twenty-six cycles – something I know thanks to the wonders of Femtech, particularly Clue. I have gotten to know my body in crazy amounts of detail, which has been both a blessing and a curse. I am really sad to be leaving this period (punny) of time behind, but I am going to try and see it as an opportunity. Since I have been tracking my cycles in great detail all this time, I am really going to be able to see the changes, good and bad, that the pill brings – plus, I get to try out Clue’s pill tracking functions for the first time. See, I’m already seeing the bright side.

    I won’t be starting the pill for a couple of weeks, and I have no doubt that the first few months will be a little wild, but in the mean time I’m going to relish the natural peaks and falls of my hormones and look forward to less-pain in the next few months.

    And to end this long (sorry) love letter to my natural menstrual cycle, I would just like to acknowledge that although I have tracked over 100 days of pain medication consumption during the last year or so, I have also tracked over 200 days of feeling happy, so that’s nice.

    Going on the pill means I will be cutting my trial of Natural Cycles short so my review will be coming sooner than planned. Let me know on Twitter what you would like to hear about my experience with Natural Cycles and I’ll try to fit my responses in. 

  • Non-Fiction Reads 2017

    Non-Fiction Reads 2017

    Shortly after I made the decision to name this blog Fictitiously Hilary I suddenly became aware that I was in a non-fiction phase. Smart thinking Webb. The phase came to somewhat of a startling halt in the last couple of months where the escapism benefits of fiction have been required. Having said that, non-fiction has still accounted for about a quarter of my 2017 reads – so I think the books in question deserve a blog!

    At present, my non-fiction TBR (to be read) pile does not exist, which is a really nice position to be in going into Christmas and the New Year.  There are several reasons why I’m happy about this, which I’ll explain at the end of this blog, but let’s go through my 2017 Non-Fiction Reads first, shall we?

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    Scrappy Little Nobody – Anna Kendrick

    As I’ve badgered on about before, I have an unexplainable love for actresses’ autobiographies and Scrappy Little Nobody was no exception. I’ve always been a fan of the sarcastic Anna Kendrick and it was nice to have some insight about her extraordinary childhood and remarkably ordinary young-adulthood. Her discussion about revealing magic numbers at the beginning of relationships was a high point for me. My review of SLN can be found here.

    Fifty Shades of Feminism – Lisa Appignanesi, Rachel Holmes & Susue Orbach

    I’ve read a few feminist essay collections and this is definitely one of my favourites. The discussions are intersectional as they cover, like the title suggests, the many shades of feminism that can, do and must exist. I also talk about FSOF here.

    Hunger Makes me a Modern Girl – Carrie Brownstein

    I still think I got this book by accident, thinking it was something else, but it was a happy accident. I really enjoyed Carrie’s life story and the positive messages she takes from it. My review is here.

    Animal – Sara Pascoe – Hilary’s 2017 Non-Fiction Fave

    Gah, I just loved this book. Being able to write about evolutionary and social factors of human sexuality and relationships in a funny, readable and understandable way is a rare talent and Sara Pascoe does it so well. I hope I can write a book like this one day! I mention this in here.

    Doing It – Hannah Witton

    Like I said in my review, I didn’t learn anything new in Doing It but it’s a book I wish I could have had as a teenage girl. If young people had access to a book like this I think they would grow up with a much healthier, sex positive and safe attitude towards sex.

    Girl Up – Laura Bates

    I’ve followed Laura Bates and the Everyday Sexism movement for years and while I did enjoy some parts of Girl Up a lot, like Doing It, I didn’t learn much but would have appreciated having it when I was younger.

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    Wishful Drinking – Carrie Fisher
    Shockaholic – Carrie Fisher
    The Princess Diarist – Carrie Fisher

    The late great Carrie Fisher dominated the non-fiction reads I took to South America on my Kindle last summer and I couldn’t have taken a better companion. My love of Star Wars and actresses’ autobiographies has nothing to do with why I love Carrie’s writing. It is so unique, so funny and so dark in a really intimate and brave way. Only makes you even sadder that Carrie and Debbie Reynolds are no longer with us. WEEP. (P.S. I saw the Last Jedi last week and, unsurprisingly, Carrie was amazing).

    Curious Pursuits – Margaret Atwood

    I bought this book years ago and only read the couple of chapters relevant to my coursework but I finally got around to reading it cover to cover this year… and I didn’t quite make it cover to cover. The first two thirds of the book I loved, but the last one I skimmed through the essays and articles I found the most interesting. It’s weird, with Atwood’s stuff I’m either totally bowed over and in love or a little “meh”. Hearing her talk at New Scientist Live this year was a definite highlight though!

     

    Radical Hope – Letters of Love and Dissent in Dagnerous TImes – Carolina de Robertis

    I read this as I was recovering from the disappointing laparoscopy in August and it was really nice to distract myself from the horrors of my uterus to the horrors of Trump, mostly because the letters in the book are written with such a profound sense of hope that thing’s will be OK, good even. If you want your faith in humanity restored, this is the one.

    Where Am I Now? – Mara Wilson

    Here we go again with another actress’ autobiography… except Mara Wilson is so much more than just the girl who played Matilda. This book is testament to her talent as a comic and a writer. Really enjoyed it. She is also ace on Twitter if you weren’t aware.

    Sweetening the Pill – Holly Grigg-Spall

    I wrote a blog discussing my mixed reaction to this book. While at the time it really motivated me and made me realise that I don’t have to feel guilty for not liking the pill anymore, I do think it’s important to be sceptical about this subject – to ask more questions. It’s hugely sensitive and it would be foolish to write-off the huge benefits hormonal contraception has offered the world, but equally foolish to accept that it’s the best we can do.

    Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

    I was so excited for this book – science in action, learning about human sexuality and the flaws with it, but I was actually really disappointed. Like I said with Animal making these topics understandable and enjoyable is a hard task, one that I’m not sure this book achieves. However, I did enjoy the evolutionary observations between humans and bonobos when it comes to sex and relationships.

    The Female Eunuch – Germaine Greer

    As I’m sure you can tell by this point, my non-fiction hype had really distinguished and The Female Eunuch didn’t help. I was, again, really excited to read this, as I’d been promised a book that had awoken a generation of women to the feminist cause. I wish I had read it a few years earlier because so many of the ideas seemed a bit samey, which is obviously because the book, and Greer herself, inspired much of what has been written since. Yet the stuff since has developed, and those developments are vital.

    Unfinished Business – Anne-Marie Slaughter

    really didn’t like this book at first. Slaughter repeatedly addresses the privileged point she is writing from but then continues to write from it and some of the issues discussed seem a little trivial because of that perspective. However, later on in the book she makes a few interesting points about art creation and human creation, flexible work and freelancing, which was actually kind of insightful. But I still wish I had a pound for every time she writes “my Atlantic article”…

    My early frustrations with this last read further irritated my feelings towards all the non-fiction I’ve read this year. What’s my problem with it? For the most part, it’s all really white and fairly heteronormative. I think it’s understandable to write from your perspective, but to only read from that same perspective is small-minded and, quite frankly, boring. So in 2018 I hope my non-fiction reads will be more intersectional in every way possible – we can’t change the world if we don’t escape our own little bubble, can we? Recommendations for 2018 are greatly appreciated!

    Let me know what you think by sharing, commenting, or getting in touch on Twitter or Instagram